So many feelings…

It’s been about a week since I landed in South Africa and today was my fifth day “on the job”.  There are so many different feelings swirling around in my head and heart right now.  In the past few days I’ve met so many families and different children who are in need of something here in South Africa.  Some of the families came to see me to see if there really was a concern and should they spend their hard earned money on a speech evaluation. Some came because their child doesn’t speak at all and wanted ways to communicate with them at home.  Others just to have someone listen to them.  Today I found myself doing a phonics and reading lesson.  I’m technically not qualified to do any of that but thankfully, I’ve worked with many an amazing Resource Teacher, Reading Specialist and Special Day Class teacher to have some tricks up my sleeve.  I even pulled out some of my Occupational Therapy knowledge that I’ve soaked up sitting in meetings the last 10 or so years.  After that lesson the mum asked me “So he’s not bad right?”  And my heart broke.  It’s as if learning differently would suggest that he’s bad.

I find myself getting so frustrated at how families with students with any type of need are treated here or how the children themselves get treated.  I will spare you most of the horror stories, but one darling darling little boy was locked in a toy box at his school because they didn’t know how to work with him.  That same boy sat with me yesterday and we chatted, did activities and played games and I could have stayed chatting with him all afternoon if I didn’t have another family coming in right after.  Parents have shared that schools tell them “it’s not their problem if the child can’t read.”  Me “So then what the hell are they there for?”   Honestly I’ve gotten so upset that I’ve even forgotten my manners and used some cuss words when talking to the parents.  Yesterday, I worked with a young “man” of 16 years.  He brought it upon himself to make an appointment to meet with me.  I will quickly share his story and then move on to something a little lighter.  The boy showed up and he was dressed in his rugby uniform from just having come from practice.  He quickly shared with me that he wanted some tips to help him not stutter.  I sadly don’t have anything to make anyone “not stutter”, it’s a strategies thing and speech therapy is not  a cure for stuttering.  I told him I’d try to help him with strategies.  I first asked him to tell me a little about himself.  I learned he does well at school, has friends, plays on the rugby team and is really comfortable at home.  I followed up and asked if his friends were patient with him when he stuttered and he initially shared they were.  I praised his friends out loud to him.   A few moments later I asked him, so you’re smart, have friends, play sports and are comfortable at home what bothers you most about the stuttering.  To which he answered, “Well actually my friends do tease me and I’m getting embarrassed.” Me : Mothereffers!!!! (Dont’ worry I kept that one in my thought bubble) .  Together we tried to strategize how he could have more success at school and I wanted him to try and find a trusted teacher.  This was not an easy task. He shared they don’t really stop the teasing.  I could not hide my sadness for him and honestly wanted to walk right up to that school and start taking names…but really I know it  wouldn’t matter if some silly American girl gave her opinion on how they should run their school.   At the end of our time, I told him very frankly that his “friends” are shit and if they were his friends they would not tease him about something like this.  Yes I get that boys and friends all tease each other most times out of love but when it cuts it’s not cool.  And then some swears did slip out of the thought bubble and told him to tell his friends just “EF Off”.  I left that session and quite a few others feeling helpless.  I knew I wasn’t going to be solving any major world problems here, but I felt as if I had nothing to give.  I’m quick to suggest something only to realize my suggestions only work in a country that values special education.  Must continue to think outside of the box!

On a lighter note, I let the young kids in the house take me out partying last night for what is called First Thursdays.  If I didn’t feel old before I sure as heck felt old last night.  I know I’ve always hated techno but man my 37 year old self hates it even more;) I did manage to stay out until 2AM and still get up for work at 8, but it was nothing in comparison to the ones that stayed out until 6:30.  I’m totally ok with being the grandma and coming home early.  Well it’s about to get dark and I want to get home before it does, so I will sign off for now.  This weekend I will post a few of my adventures. Sorry for the ranting today:)

XOXO